What would Zoolander do?

Remember in Zoolander when Hansel bumps against Derek as they pass each other at a party and Hansel says obnoxiously, “excuse me brah” and Derek responds “you’re excused…and I’m not your Brah,” and then they get into a heated exchange (Hansel: “who you tryin to get crazy with ese? Don’t you know I’m loco?’)?

In case you don’t remember, here’s the clip:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s0c_TdGz4EA

Derek escalates the conflict when he challenges Hansel to a “walk off.” Derek’s friend, Billy Zane, cautions him not to do a walk off (“don’t do this Derek”). Derek won’t listen (“put a cork in it, Zane!”). 

What can Billy Zane do but watch his friend go ahead and make the biggest mistake of his life? Derek marches away and for a second the camera lingers on Billy Zane as he announces to the crowd “it’s a walk off!” but, realizing no one is listening, he repeats the line, only this time it's just for himself: “it’s..a walk off.”  

The image of Billy Zane standing there, girding himself for the inevitable walk off, has been in my mind’s eye since January. After all, this is an election year. And just as Billy is helpless to stop Derek from rushing into a walk off against Hansel, I feel helpless to stop bad things from happening. The best I can do is nod and say, “it’s an election year.” 

Helplessness is not a characteristic most people would look for in their ideal therapist. I am aware of that. However, it’s a feeling that deepens my empathy for my clients who share their emotions about this election. They speak of helplessness as well as rage, confusion, cautious optimism, and fear. I attempt to do my best Billy Zane impression and communicate a grounded, stoic acceptance of whatever my clients are feeling. It can be challenging.

There are abundant cliches about therapy as a zen space of serenity amidst the noise or a calm from the storm, etc. I embrace these cliches, because election years are unusual. They can feel like emotional roller coasters. With media buzz, polarized opinions, and relentless campaigning, it's easy to get swept up in the chaos. But amidst the frenzy, maintaining mental health is crucial, and psychotherapy can be a powerful anchor. This is as true for me as it is for my clients. 

In an election year, what would Derek Zoolander do? Truth be told, he'd probably skip psychotherapy (although he might offer counseling at the Derek Zoolander Center for Kids Who Can’t Read Good). Hansel (who turned out to be a pretty cool brah) probably would do therapy (though his version would include LSD, a solar eclipse, a surfboard and a bungalow off a private beach in Bali). For the rest of us, taking care of ourselves just might be the most radical act of all. Derek learned this same lesson the hard way--that living an authentic life is not about ignoring the world, but learning to navigate it with greater emotional stability while "modeling" the values he hoped to see in the world. He fulfills his quest to answer the immortal question: “Did you ever think that maybe there’s more to life than being really, really… really ridiculously good looking?”

I would love to hear about your favorite clips from Zoolander as well as how you're managing this election year. Please share your thoughts with me at jeremyfaintherapy@gmail.com